you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
