well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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