why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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