Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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