why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think your dad took our porno
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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