PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize