that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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