he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize