Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
