she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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