oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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