respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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