Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
