You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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