If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
