i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I cockslap morals
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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