somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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