I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you never un-have a 4some
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
