The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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