but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize