so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
