Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
