he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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