I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
