Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize