considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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