Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
