What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
