may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
