Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh god it's open bar.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
