party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
