I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
