this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
