Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
