why didn't you poke me back
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
