after a month anything with tits is on the radar
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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