I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
