I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
