Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i now understand why vodka
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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