PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
