They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
