I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
