I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
