i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's like iHOP with fire
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
