If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
