I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
