Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
