just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
