I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
