We won't sleep together?
barbara walters just said penis...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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