Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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