If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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