Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?

(806): View more from Texas

i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

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(281): View more from Texas

Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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(573): View more from Missouri

Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

(636): View more from Missouri

Wtf did you do last night?

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(613): View more from Ontario

All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?

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(334): View more from Alabama

I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.

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