What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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