the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
