That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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