quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize