I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
