my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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