are you still at the devil's house?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
