Me. At least after what I've been through.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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