its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
