the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
